In Order to Write

On the Heals of Greatness

May 10th, 2008 | by smokingpen |

I am of the opinion that most people get into writing because they were inspired by something that could be considered great. For me, the impetus where I realized I wanted to write was when I could sit down and read, by myself, Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. I didn’t know, at that time, that people spend their entire lives pursuing singular dreams, as that; nor did I realize that the competition is pretty fierce for shelf space, publishing schedules, agents, and readers.

And yet, I pursue the singular goal of writing.

I discovered an internal change the other day. You see, once upon a time I thought, “Any writing job I have will make me happy.” Not true. Several years ago I took my first full-time writing job with a company I was working for. I produced a lot of material in a short period of time. After fifteen months I realized I didn’t want to do that kind of work anymore, and not for that company so I requested that I be laid off when the company did another round… this would be the third.

What solidified, in my mind, that I could write compellingly enough for the outside world* was that another, larger, international software company almost immediately hired me up and I went back to work. I ended up writing one magazine article that may, or may not, have been published and then was, again, laid off due to the hiring practices of that company.

Since that time I have worked in various capacities as a writer from freelance to creative to poetry and have remained focused on my singular goal: writing fiction.

About eight years ago, I sat down and wrote a couple (okay, three) books. Two were submitted to a couple of local publishers and both were rejection. The rejection on the first book said, “We cannot accept for publication this book, but if you have other projects, we would like to consider something else by you.” The outcome was a first draft for a book I titled, Big Jim, Little Jim. Honestly, I never expect to see that story revisited.

What I did learn in the process was that I have a compelling writing style, though (back when) that writing style needed (and still needs, this is an ongoing process) more polishing. Though my goal was to write and be published in fiction, and though I thought I was pursuing that goal, I had not yet gotten to a point where I was telling a) a compelling story in b) a compelling way.

One outcome to this was that I pulled back. I took, on occasion, writing jobs and did them, but I discovered that a job where I am paid to write is not the same thing as writing what I want to be paid for. What I want to be paid for is fiction and the fiction I want to write is fantasy and YA.

So, writing for a living is a good thing. If nothing else were to come out of my life than that I was able to write, somewhere, somehow, I think I could find myself happy. Teaching writing for a living is another way for me to pursue a passion and desire that I have. Again, I think I could be happy. However, neither of these areas are what I want to be doing.

Time and experience has taught me that if I am patient, I work hard, and I learn all that I can and how to apply that education, I will find success in the areas I pursue. And to that end, I continue to write and work on fiction so that I can be successful where I want to find success.

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*outside world is everyone outside of my own mind